From Burnout to Wholeness: Spiritual Awakening

I never thought I’d be someone who’d write about spirituality. Sure, I’d flirted with the idea of it before—dabbling in meditation during university or reading the occasional self-help book that mentioned mindfulness. But it never quite stuck. Back then, I was too busy with deadlines, trying to make something of myself. Spirituality felt like an abstract concept, far removed from the grounded, rational way I approached life.

This year, that all changed. It didn’t happen overnight. There was no big "aha" moment where the universe opened up and whispered its secrets to me. Instead, spirituality crept into my life slowly, growing piece by piece until it became an undeniable presence. Like meeting someone new and realizing over time that they just get you, my connection with the divine became one of the most profound relationships of my life.

The Gradual Awakening

When I talk about spirituality now, I often use terms like the divine feminine or universal energy. For me, this energy is both nurturing and powerful—a loving mother and a wise guide, woven together. You might call it the universe, Shakti, or simply intuition. Whatever the name, it feels deeply personal, something I can turn to when I feel lost, unsure, or overwhelmed.

But this connection wasn’t always there. For much of my life, I felt like I was missing the manual for tuning into that frequency. Instead, I relied on logic, planning, and hard work to guide me. It wasn’t until burnout cracked me wide open that I started to sense that something bigger was at play—something that wanted me to slow down, lean in, and listen.

Rediscovering Old Wisdom

I’ve always been someone who loves learning, so when the door to spirituality opened, I walked through it with curiosity. One of the first steps was revisiting books I’d skimmed years ago, particularly Anodea Judith’s Wheels of Life and Eastern Body, Western Mind.

These books dive into the Chakras—the body’s energy centers—and how they connect to our emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. As a Registered Psychotherapist, I was previously only grounded in evidence-based practices, and this exploration felt far removed from the clinical frameworks I relied on. But the more I read, the more I saw parallels between these ancient teachings and the patterns I observed in my own life.

Reading those books with fresh eyes, after everything I’d been through, was like putting on glasses for the first time. Suddenly, the connections between my physical symptoms, emotional struggles, and unresolved trauma became clear. I noticed that whenever I was holding back my truth, my throat felt tight. When I carried guilt or grief, my chest ached. The energy of my body was speaking to me—I just hadn’t been listening.

The Heart Chakra: Breaking Through the Walls

Of all the Chakras, my heart center needed the most attention. The heart Chakra is about love, trust, and connection, and for most of my life, mine had been blocked. I didn’t know it at the time, but I’d built walls around my heart to protect myself from hurt. Love, in my mind, was something you earned—through achievements, through hard work, through proving yourself.

This belief wasn’t serving me anymore, and I knew it had to change. I began working with an energy healer who helped me explore what was holding me back. During one session, I was guided to imagine light radiating from my heart. At first, I felt silly. What difference could visualizing light possibly make? But as I sank into the experience, I felt something shift—a warmth spreading through my chest, a quiet knowing that I was enough, just as I was.

That moment was a turning point. It wasn’t about fixing myself but about opening myself to the idea that I didn’t need to be fixed. Love didn’t have to be earned; it could simply be.

Sep 2024 - Mindfully enjoying the sunshine

Shiva Energy and Feminine Power

As I continued to explore, I discovered Shiva energy—the creative, life-giving force that embodies the divine feminine. This wasn’t just a concept; it was something I could feel in my body when I let myself slow down and tune in. I started practicing Tantra yoga and guided meditations on Shiva energy. One of my favorites involved visualizing energy rising from the earth, flowing through my body, and filling me with strength and compassion.

The experience was grounding and empowering, but more than that, it was a reminder: I am part of something bigger. Shiva energy isn’t just in me—it’s in everything. It’s in the rhythm of nature, in the cycles of life, and in the moments when everything feels connected.

Spirituality in the Everyday

Here’s the thing about spirituality: it doesn’t have to be some grand, out-of-this-world experience. For me, it’s in the little rituals I’ve woven into my day—lighting a candle before journaling, taking a moment to feel the sun on my skin, or simply pausing to breathe when things feel overwhelming.

One of the biggest lessons spirituality has taught me is the art of letting go. For years, I held on tightly to control, believing that if I just worked hard enough, planned carefully enough, and managed every detail, I could prevent failure or disappointment. But spirituality has shown me that surrender isn’t weakness—it’s trust. Trusting the universe, trusting the process, and trusting myself.

Balancing Faith and Logic

As someone who’s always leaned heavily on logic, stepping into spirituality hasn’t been without its challenges. There have been moments of doubt when my rational brain pushed back, questioning whether any of this was "real." But what I’ve come to realize is that not everything needs to be proven to be true. Spirituality isn’t about logic; it’s about experience. And my experience has been undeniable. I feel lighter, clearer, more connected—not just to the universe but to myself.

Coming Home to Myself

If you’d told me a year ago that I’d find peace through connecting with the divine feminine, I probably wouldn’t have believed you. But here I am, feeling more whole and grounded than I’ve ever felt. For me, spirituality isn’t about reaching some ultimate enlightenment—it’s about coming home to myself, trusting the path I’m on, and finding magic in the everyday.

One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned through spirituality is the art of surrender. For years, my perfectionism kept me in a state of control, micromanaging every aspect of my life to avoid failure. But spirituality taught me that some things are beyond control—and that’s okay. By trusting the universe’s plan, I’ve found freedom in letting go.

My spiritual journey is far from over, but it has already transformed how I live and love. Through reconnecting with the divine feminine, I’ve moved from striving to being, from judgment to compassion, and from fear to trust. Spirituality has taught me that healing isn’t about fixing what’s broken—it’s about rediscovering the wholeness that has always been within us.